How Can I Choose Love In Every Moment?
How can you choose love in every moment? Especially when you find yourself in the aftermath of bitter disappointment?
Those first stages when you are coming out on the other side of a bitter disappointment can be pretty brutal. But eventually, you pick yourself up and stand at the precipice of your next action…
And, you essentially have two choices:
Act from Anger
Act from Love
I encourage you to pause… Take a deep breath in and out…
One choice of action can appear easy. One choice can appear hard. Depending on whether you have prepared a few gentle reminders in your life to keep your intention focused on choosing love.
And, the “moments” can pile on fast when you are drowning in disappointment.
“How can I choose love in EVERY moment?”
•Surround yourself with “gentle reminders”
•Diminish stress in your daily routine to support an ongoing state of balance as your starting point
•Nurture your heart with personal “comfort charms”
•Book Recommendation: Matchmaking for Beginners by Maddie Dawson (Plus… Check out my free Resource Library to find my free resources inspired by this book and created especially for you to support you in choosing love…)
I can literally hear you hyperventilating. So, let’s get started…
Let’s get back to that deep breath in… And deep breath out…
There you go!
We are going to explore some simple, beautiful and meaningful suggestions that can support you in choosing love by:
Setting up “gentle reminders” in your life to give you just a little nudge towards love when you need it
Choosing simple options to diminish stress in your life so you are less likely to react from a state of overwhelm
Identifying your personal “comfort charms” to keep your heart nurtured with love
Choosing love in each moment with others starts with choosing love for yourself each day.
Disappointment feels a lot like loss. Sometimes it is from an actual loss. Almost always it includes grieving the loss. And, that is where the choice comes in…
A few years ago, I experienced three big losses in a row. Every July, for three years in a row, I “lost” a significant part of my life. The grief was overlapping from one to the next. And, I can tell you this… It was hard.
Until I made a simple choice…
With each moment, I began imagining myself standing at a crossroad. I could go this way, act in anger and live in anger. Or, I could go that way, act in love and live in love.
I asked myself…
“Do I want to live in anger? Or do I want to live in love?”
I kept the choice that simple. No details. No what ifs. No buts. Nothing else except…
This way or that way. Anger or love.
Keeping the choice that simple made choosing love SO easy.
But… I needed reminders, support and help to keep me focused.
It is important to:
Surround yourself with “gentle reminders” so you can refocus your intention in one glance
Diminish stress in your daily routine to support an ongoing state of balance as your starting point
Nurture your heart with personal “comfort charms” that soothe your soul with love
Go on a book adventure with a character that overcomes disappointment by choosing love
My book recommendation for this adventure…
Books can be a first step towards inspiring you to choose love…
Within the story… Within your life… Within your home.
Each book I suggest is personally selected to provide you an expansive experience that invites elements of the story into your life and home. Connecting the life you would love to the life you are living. Simply, beautifully and meaningfully.
And, I have created some free resources especially for you and inspired by this wonderful book! Free resources for inspiration, home ideas and reading to support you in choosing love. Check out my recommended free resources at the bottom of this post. All are ready for you to easily access and print from my free Resource Library!
HOW CAN I CHOOSE LOVE… IN EVERY MOMENT?
Surround Yourself With Reminders To Choose Love
Remember your parents’ warning to not hang with a bad crowd? Same advice here. Make sure you “hang” with a good crowd!
So… “Hang” some reminders from the good “love” crowd!
Surround yourself with reminders that will keep you focused on choosing love. Sometimes a glance at a piece of artwork, framed quote or symbol will be just the nudge you need to pull you in “off the ledge” of jumping off into the abyss of the Land of Angry-ville!
Here are some ideas…
Create a wallpaper for your phone (or tablet, laptop or desktop, etc) with a quote to encourage you to choose love
One touch to your phone screen and you will get an instant reminder!
When selecting notecards to send, choose a design that encourages you (and the recipient!) to choose love
Double the love effect… For both you and the recipient! Your words will certainly be transformed as you write… and as they are read.
Select and frame a favorite book quote or reminder to choose love
Great places to hang a “love reminder”:
Where you often sit to make phone calls
Where you keep your keys
Your dressing table and/or bathroom mirror
On an open area of your car dashboard
Inside your mailbox door
Where you make your morning coffee, tea or juice
On your TV remote
And actually “hang” with a good crowd of love reminders… ✨😎✨
BONUS: Download my free “I Choose Love” Tech Wallpaper, Notecards and Artwork in my Resource Library. Get the password at the bottom of this post!
Diminish Stress In Your Daily Routine
When you are in a state of overwhelm, the temptation to explode in anger is super-high! Let’s defuse that ticking time-bomb by giving ourselves a break with some of the high-maintenance multi-stepped tasks we do each day.
I am not saying to let go of EVERY multi-stepped activity… No way! It can be super-satisfying to achieve a big goal.
But, I am saying to set up options that support you in providing simple, beautiful and meaningful outcomes to mix in when your schedule is slammed with a busy work week… Or you just need to take a step back and breathe…
One big area to look for a simpler option regards weekly food preparation. Between grocery shopping, washing and storing food for preparation later, preparing the food, cleaning up…. Or falling into the “drive-thru pickup window” bucket of your convenient fast food option on your way home… All of it can lead to a major state of overwhelm and/or a serious lack of quality nutrition which will spiral you down to the basement level of feeling fine and ready to conquer the world each day. So, I suggest…
Hire A “Personal Chef”:
Whoa…. Don’t leave! Give me a chance to explain!
When I started my website, one of my ultimate success goals was to be able to get to the point that I could actually hire a personal chef to prepare and stock my fridge with wonderful, healthy, delicious homemade food ready to serve in 10 minutes or less. (Hey… Don’t begrudge me my lofty dreams!) I enjoy cooking but the time to shop, prepare, cook, serve and clean up each day’s food regimen was not matching the time I had available after working 10 hours or more each day building my business.
So… I hired a “personal chef”.
Again… Whoa… Don’t leave! Give me a chance to explain!
I could not… nor can I yet… afford to hire a real personal chef, though my high-quality food goals were still high-priority on my list of self-care each day.
I needed to find a solution that would provide the quality experience I was looking for with each meal… Include low-maintenance prep… And check out within a budget-friendly range.
So… I began to search for a local neighborhood market/deli option that provided wonderful, healthy delicious homemade food. I was looking for:
In-house homemade pantry items (homemade granola, veggie chips made from fresh local vegetables, fresh ground nut butters, etc)
In-house homemade salads and dressings (large dinner salads, side specialty salads, etc)
In-house homemade breads (and occasionally cookies, cakes, etc)
In-house homemade soups (preferably quart-size for my freezer)
In-house homemade complete prepared meals (and/or prepared main entrees and multi-portioned vegetable sides)
Wide assortment of cheeses sliced to order
In-house roasted meats sliced to order
Containers of sliced fruits ready to eat
Wonderful gourmet spreads, condiments, sauces, etc
Organic local whole bean coffee
Each Saturday morning, I load up with prepared homemade foods and pantry items at my local neighborhood market/deli and enjoy chatting with my new BFF cooks and clerks.
Each week’s checkout is approximately $50 - $75 (depending on the weeks that I need to replenish bulk items).
Every day my fridge, freezer and pantry is stocked with wonderful, healthy delicious homemade food ready to go in 10 minutes or less.
And before I knew it…
I realized I had actually “hired a personal chef”! And… for a fraction of the price.
Look for a great local neighborhood market. Ask your community for recommendations.
Get a great insulated shopping bag to keep the fridge and freezer items cool even on hot summer shopping days.
T.I.M.E. TIP: I keep my budget reined in by setting a “hard limit” on one full shopping bag each week.
Get to know “your personal chef team” (cooks and clerks) by name! Be authentic and generous with your compliments. Remember… You are choosing love!
And transform your usual shopping day into a great weekly reunion with your “team”!
Nurture Your Heart With “Comfort Charms”
OK… Think about what connects you in your heart to comfort.
Is it chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven that remind you of grandmother’s house? Is it cinnamon toast reminding you of snow days spent at home with your brothers and cartoons? Is it a marching band reminding you of a great underdog win for your high school team? Is it a song that reminds you of those summers in the backyard trying to get a tan? Is it a special flower that takes you back to the first corsage you received from your first love?
Each one of these things are what I like to call “comfort charms”.
Often, they are sensory-related: Scents. Sounds. Sights.
They lure our hearts back to a sweet memory. They comfort us. And they connect our hearts to a tangible, meaningful and personal moment filled with love. A great place to reconnect to when we are challenged to choose love in a present moment.
Integrate “comfort charms” in your life:
Adding comfort scents:
Warm a cookie, slice of cake, cinnamon toast, etc in the microwave before eating
Pan roast slices of bacon… and add a little brown sugar sprinkled on top to take this to the nuclear level!
Add a bottle of essential oil to your dressing table… Natural aromatherapy is super-healing and provides a super-secret subtle scent (rather than overwhelming perfumes made with chemicals)!
Spray a scented mist on your bed pillow before going to sleep
Adding comfort sounds:
Search back to the Top 25 Hits of (any of the following) and create a playlist:
Senior year of high school
Year you met your mate
Year you started college
Year you moved to your first place on your own
Year you took your first trip on your own
Year you discovered “what you wanted to do in life”
Adding comfort sights:
Create a family photo wall or table display
Include a family heirloom quilt or afghan on your bed
Frame a beloved pet’s photo for your desk
Place a great concert or theatre ticket in the corner of your dressing mirror
Wear a piece of jewelry that signifies a special person, event or memory for specific occasions
MATCHMAKING FOR BEGINNERS BY MADDIE DAWSON
How much did I love this book? Well… I read it in one day!
Maybe because it is a complete valentine to what the experience can be like to move to NYC… A previous personal experience that I found to be true and still hold very dear.
Over and over again, the main character will be faced with choosing anger or choosing love after enduring bitter disappointment. She is challenged by the mental fog of familial and societal pressures… All while not having yet gained her own footing in knowing who she is.
Her greatest asset (although unrealized by her) is that she moves forward choosing love. Not without mistakes, for certain. But without malice.
It is a wonderful adventure filled with characters that bring magic, generosity, adventure, humor, humanity… and the occasional “I really want to slap you right now” moments!
Don’t let the title fool you. It is not a traditional matchmaking story for finding romance… But a matchmaking story for finding your true self.
Choose love… And choose Matchmaking for Beginners by Maddie Dawson.
♡ Was a big hit with my book club! Check out my Book Club Favorites for more ideas.
GET MY FREE “I CHOOSE LOVE” TECH WALLPAPER, NOTECARDS, ART PRINTS… AND MORE!
Get the password to my Resource Library to access these free resources by filling out the form below:
The suggestions outlined in this post to choosing love + my “I Choose Love” free resources have been created especially for you to support you in connecting the life you would love to the life you are living.
Providing ways to establish simple and beautiful reminders to choose love in your life
Identifying and boosting the presence of your personal “comfort charms”
Presenting easeful options for your life that will support an ongoing state of balance and diminish overwhelm
Why do books support me in choosing love?
With each reading experience, you have the opportunity to step into the shoes of a character and see what it might be like to choose love or a different option. A character’s experience can open your heart to a “teachable moment” that might be difficult to achieve in a direct conversation.
Often when someone tries to give us direct advice, our defenses rise up with a sudden wave of resistance. Having the comfort of exploring a story that is “one step removed” from our personal experience can be the perfect setting to look at the circumstances with an open mind and heart.
What if I “drop the ball” in choosing love?
The character in Matchmaking for Beginners certainly had times when she “dropped the ball” as well. We all do. Just know that every new moment is a new opportunity to begin again to choose love. Take one moment at a time. Let go of what you did before. Stay in “this moment” and remind yourself…
Congratulations on taking the first steps toward choosing love in every moment! What current circumstances in your life could benefit from you choosing love?
Write down three actions in your journal, calendar or digital notepad that would “step up your game” by choosing love.
If it feels too overwhelming to start with a super-challenging circumstance, start by noting an action you could take in a circumstance already rooted in love. It’s OK to take “baby steps”. And it will give you confidence as you gradually move towards choosing love in more challenging circumstances.
Wishing you many moments of choosing love…
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